Social Anxiety - Part 2: My Way Makes Me Silence

It was around 06.25 pm. I was about to finish my task when a text message came in.

Hi Deedee, I can really relate myself to your writing (Part 1), I have been experiencing that problem, that social anxiety.

I even have one more problem in it, I love finding my own answer whenever I face problems and need more information in a talk, discussion or training. I feel that it’s better for me to find the answers myself though I might never know whether my answer is right or wrong. Because of these, I tend to be silence.

So, what should I do? Should I try to speak out my questions or comments in the first place? Or should I just keep doing what I’m doing?

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One of the nicest aspects of communication is the opportunity to interact. Through this, we have bigger chance to explore ourselves and coexist with others. It is more than just being there, sitting down, listening well, and feeling that you can do the homework later.

This interaction will (suppose to) make us talk, observe, exchange knowledge, and invest our qualities. We do more talk in most of our interaction to others. We move from passive to active human being in experiencing what we see, feel, and hear. This interaction will validate what we (want to) understand. We incorporate all aspects, digest them, and make quick and wise decision to produce something to connect with; spoken thoughts or simply shared questions.

Why is this important?

This gives us more control to what we are about to experience. Do know well why we are in that activity at the first place. Why do we agree to be present? Both voluntarily or being driven, they are just the same, make us there, present. So then, how do we keep that present, that interaction, that talk going? And how do we do that talk organically, as if it is not some kind of formal socialties nor irresponsible obligation.

We need to empower and allow ourselves explore the tangents of our talks, especially if the opportunity to engage is open, even if it is not, create one. This means that the main emphasis of the interaction is us, the humans, not merely the information shared, asked, and discussed.

Let’s dig this out deeper…

Each time we find ourselves involved in a talk, we resonate ourselves. We echo our existence. Expecting that they will reach many and shape how we are perceived by them. Often, the opportunity comes only one time. Can we maximize the result then? Can we unleash our most valuable words for them to remember? For them to resound our names even if we are not around. What elaboration will struck them the most?

Invite more opportunities to knock our doors.

For sure this will never be an easy process. It takes time time to practice and earn the skill.

We know that not every one of us are on the same level. But as long as there is a consistent pattern, we can narrow the gap. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It never will. It doesn’t even need to be done at every time we are in that activity. But It’s better to keep making our plus one on a regular basis as if it becomes our character, our automation. It will help us to find better us in an interesting way. THAT way will encourage us to speak instead of being silence.

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So, step up, get rid that way. Let the silent you go without asking permission.

Ready?

— Before midnite —