I always feel that I am not good enough for my class. I always hesitate to ask and raise my hands thinking that my friends will laugh at me because of my stupid question.
For that, I’d rather be silent. What should I do?
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Couple months ago I got this question, and again it came to me yesterday.
It seems countless now. Like most of my meet up with millennials, I am going to be asked this question. It really tickles me to write.
Is this a catastrophe? Why is it hard for me not to think about others’ opinion? — They continued.
The first thing I would ask to them is why then if they laugh at you? Why then if the question sounds stupid for them but because of that you’ll learn something new? What is it bothering you the most, the learning or the ego?
Most of the time, my questions are responded in silence.
Funny that we actually learn that many inventions came from stupid questions. And they have shaped the way we live today. Why can’t we learn from the past?
Let’s start peeling it:
What exactly we’re afraid of? Who exactly would think that we are stupid? How do we prove that? Dare to ask them to approve your thoughts? On what base are we going to get the answer?
The higher we learn, the higher effort we take.
Our anxiety is often vague. It is not particularly credible. Our brain plays bigger role to put us down even before we move one or two steps forward. Let’s just think simply to face the situation. We are in our learning zone, not always alone, we have ‘friends around’, like it or not. So, play our roles, do not hesitate to get wet, get ashamed. Cope with it. Prove it. Get it back to turn the table that it is worth asking. We need to have a plan to either rectify the situation or move on.
When we are that happy to accept winning, we are suppossed to being that ready to accept losing, in any form it might come. We need to practice embracing diverse situations. We do not avoid experiences that are worth doing or we’ll never have the chance to see our own capabilities. So, go ahead and try to do those things that we’re a little bit scared of. As scary as raising your hand or voice your thoughts.
Create your powerful 30 seconds to win you, raise your hand and ask questions, voice your thoughts. Earn yourself. Feel the warmth after it.
Every time we push ourselves forward, it will make us feel better regardless of what happens. It is us who needs it, not them. That should put a line that we don’t have to be bothered to whatever they think about us or questions we share. It is FOR US not them.
What’s more?
Social anxiety is a perception, not an action. Perception lies inside us, in our mind. It will not be shown until it is shown. When we sound hesitant, afraid, reluctant, or even discouraged, we indirectly tell them that we are that unqualified. They won’t know until they see and feel the vibe we share. Social anxiety frames us that there is something embarrassing and deficient about us, and for that we will think that people are going to judge or hate us.
That feeling will never go away until WE LET THEM GO!
Practice to let them go. Except that we are training our social skills, as a person with emotions. That will lead us to deal with diversity, to be balance. Feeling it right or wrong are just a matter of options we work on. Work hard to get along with fellow humans. Believe that each one of us has this social anxiety, but is given the chance to show how much we want it shown. Work with our strengths, even if they are that little. Let them grow. Create the result as best as we want it. If it takes us one more mile to make them right, WALK ON IT…
— in a cozy night —